Meng Yao knew he could try and fight the guy but what was the point. Lan Xichen didn't want him, the Nies cut ties with him and his pathetic little obsession was ending with rejection as well. He looked at the man and then Xue Yang before he slowly pulled himself to his knees.
"At least my last days weren't lonely." Meng Yao told Xue Yang, tears in his eyes, smiling weakly. "I'm tired of being lonely. I want it to end."
Only he didn't and he was terrified. The man had the knife now and his body was shaking in fear as he looked at the much bigger man. Did he know how to kill him quickly? "Do it. Do it properly!"
"See? He wants to die. In the end, they all do." He had experience with making people want to die, at least. Xue Yang watched how the man's hand was shaking, so much so he almost lost the knife. "Are you dumb?"
Xue Yang finally got up, rolling his eyes. "I want you to kill him, not draw it out. Come on, that's just cruel. How hard is it to stab someone?"
Apparently very.
"I-- I can't, not when he looks like that..." The man sounded snively and pathetic. Very off-putting.
With a sigh, Xue Yang reached for the duct tape and walked over to him, using it to blindfold him. Just one strip over his eyes. "There. Now hold the knife properly and I'll guide you."
He stepped behind him, head propped up on his shoulder as he looked at Meng Yao. "Hold still, xiao Yao, yeah? I'll make sure it's fast."
"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm scared. I want my mama." Meng Yao mumbled, wishing he was braver but that was all he could think about. Tears were streaming down his face and he hoped against hope there was an afterlife. That all of this would be over and he could just hide in her arms again. Things were easier then. Or were they. Nothing was ever easy.
He closed his own eyes now, shaking, trying not to listen to the ugly bastard that Xue Yang was hiding behind to kill him.
He meant so little to him, he wouldn't even stab him himself. All of this because he panicked over a blowjob. Seemed fair. "Please."
"Oh, for fuck's sake! Fine, I'll help you with the knife too." Clearly at the end of his patience, there was the familiar sound of the duct tape again. Xue Yang pulled some off and used it to fix the knife in the man's hand. Then, at long last, he basically forced him forward. "He's right in front of you. Just go for it!"
And he rushed Meng Yao, until there was an impact. Until there was the familiar sound of someone getting stabbed, the smell of fresh blood filling the room. Warm liquid spilled between Meng Yao and the man.
One of them had been stabbed. Only it was the man, not Meng Yao.
"Oops," Xue Yang said, with a smile. He let go of the dying man, taking a step back and looking at Meng Yao. "Aw, xiao Yao. So melodramatic. You just killed your first person, you should be happy."
Meng Yao had no idea what just happened. He was pale and he couldn't stop himself from shaking almost violently. He had expected to be stabbed, the man was coming at him so what happened. How was the knife in him and not himself. The man dropped to the floor with a heavy thud, his blood was coming along the floor towards Meng Yao. He cried out in horror and back himself away from the puddle.
He was twitching but his eyes were rolled in his head. He was dying.
"... He's dead?!" What the fuck? Did he just kill someone? How? What did he do? His legs gave out and he fell onto the floor, eyes wide with horror. "Wha-- I don't underst-- help." Something was wrong. "Help me, I don't understand."
"I pointed the knife at him when I taped it in his hands. C'mon, xiao Yao. A-Yao. I'd never let someone like that touch you. And I don't want you dead. I don't want you leaving me." Had he not made that clear often enough? Xue Yang realised that the blood was almost reaching Meng Yao, so he quickly closed the distance between them and got his arms around him.
He picked him up off the ground easily. Meng Yao weighed so little. "I just had to make you understand, yeah? Do you get it?"
Meng Yao wrapped his arms around Xue Yang, wanting to me against him and nowhere near the blood sweeping towards him. He shivered and as he tried to make himself calm down but he couldn't. It was too much. Everything was too much. He was crying so hard now, he was embarrassed by how pathetic he felt. He wasn't dead. Xue Yang saved him. He didn't want him dead. He mattered, right? He mattered.
"You picked me." Right? That was what happened. He was picked. Above anyone else.
"Yah." Obviously. Xue Yang headed for the door, still carrying Meng Yao. He unlocked it and stepped outside, letting it fall shut behind them. He could deal with clean-up tomorrow. For now, he headed for the bathroom because he really wanted a shower. "I just wanted to play the game."
He set Meng Yao down on the edge of the tub, then reached for the hem of his shirt so he could pull it off over his head. "You're my xiao Yao." He stood before him, half-naked, putting a hand on Meng Yao's shoulder. "You'd just pissed me off, so..."
"I'm yours?" Meng Yao asked, his mind completely dulled with shock. From the dead man in the room to his own almost death and everything else in between, it was like his brain was entirely shutting down and all he could focus on was how softly he was touched and how Xue Yang was so warm and nice to be close to.
Dazed, he looked at Xue Yang, his eyes slightly out of focus. "I'm sorry I pissed you off. I won't do it again. I'll try my best. I promise. Don't hate me any more."
"Psh. Don't be so dramatic again, who hates you? I never did. Told you, you just pissed me off." Xue Yang finished stripping off all the way, then he got into the shower, pulling Meng Yao along with one arm. He stood under the water and let it wash off sweat and blood and, in Meng Yao's case, tears.
Better already. "Your face when you saw what that fatty looked like." He had to grin. "Were you jealous?"
Meng Yao shivered as the hot water hit him and it felt amazing. His body was hurting from prolonged suspension and his joints were aching despite how supple they were. He leaned heavily against Xue Yang and lifted his hand, using it to wipe as his face. This was one of the worst nights of his life, worse than when Lan Xichen told him who he was dating. It was like his insides ripped apart so much that he was afraid they still wouldn't go back together.
He thought Xue Yang didn't want him any more. "I didn't understand why you picked him of all people. I thought you wanted to hurt me as much as you could." That he was so little that any old bastard would have him instead. "Do you want me to be jealous?"
"I thought it'd annoy you the most. Get under your skin." So, yes, he supposed he had wanted to hurt him as much as he could. "Anyway, I didn't wanna run into anyone I know so I went to a different bar. All the old married guys go there and pick up rent boys. Honestly, if I hadn't killed him I could have probably gotten a nice payment out of it."
There was that. Xue Yang grinned at him, then nodded. "Of course I want you to be jealous. It's fun! Jealousy is-- It's proof you care, isn't it? I want you burning with envy over anyone else even getting to look at me."
"You need it to be strong to feel real." Meng Yao spoke more to himself than anything as he stood there, letting the water rain down on him for a few moments as the cogs in his head turned and finally, he could think. Nothing felt real unless it was intense, dramatic, like a BL. Like the shows he was so addicted to.
Moving away from Xue Yang, he turned around and placed a hand on Xue Yang's cheek, making the other look at him and bracing himself in case he hit him. "I want you to be mine. Only mine. I'll always be yours so it's only fair if you're mine too."
That made sense, so Xue Yang nodded his head. "Sure." Although he did have to let out a short laugh then, lifting his shoulders slightly. "Life's not fair though."
Still, he kind of liked it. That Meng Yao wanted him like this, that he was making demands. That he wanted it so absolutely. As he had said, it made it feel more real. "So, what? You want me to only fuck you?" Was that what it was about? Guess we really ought to go clubbing together."
"In here, it's just us two. It's our world. Why can't it be fair?" Why couldn't thinks be simpler here? He sighed and then leaned in, resting his head against Xue Yang's chest now and slumping against him, tired and eager for something from Xue Yang. he wasn't sure what, he just wanted it.
"I want you to be with me. I don't want to be alone. Neither do you. I want to be with someone." And why couldn't have someone be Xue Yang. "If you can't love me, just like me."
"I like you. If I didn't like you, you'd be dead." Xue Yang really felt that was obvious. He had reached for the shampoo and now he was starting to massage some of it into Meng Yao's hair, gently scratching his scalp. Ugh, his hair really needed to be cut. Styled. And he should have started washing his hair for him sooner, he clearly didn't do a good job by himself.
"It's wasn't all on you tonight." It was not an apology, but it was something. "I was in a bad mood. Those girls. It was their fault."
"I'm sorry I rejected you, I was scared. People have laughed at me before and mocked me. Sex makes me ... uncomfortable." Meng Yao explained as he looked closed his eyes, trying to spare his eyes from any potential burning. He wondered if honesty would help Xue Yang connect to him. He wanted things to feel real, like flesh out characters with backstories he could understand.
"My mother was a whore. I grew up in a brothel. People aren't... aren't nice. I thought you were mocking my reaction for being too much. Like... Like I was being a whore." He was projecting, he knew it, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't turn that part of his brain off. "I'm not a whore."
"Well, no. You're not." Xue Yang snorted, tugging on a strand of Meng Yao's hair. "Lean your head back, I want to rinse your hair."
He waited for him to comply before he started rinsing it, at the same time running a finger along Meng Yao's throat. He really was quite pretty to look at, especially in moments like this. So vulnerable. "I'd not bother with a whore. Why would I? Have you seen me?"
He shrugged and started washing his own hair now. "I don't pay for it."
Still, maybe he should say something more. Something else. "Was your mother not nice either?"
"Even hot me pay for it. It's not about how you look, it's about how you feel and what you think. You don't need a whore, you have confidence." Meng Yao assured him as he smiled a little, tilting his head back and letting Xue Yang swill the soap out. He turned around once it was gone, rubbing his face with his wet hands and sniffing a little.
"No, she is the best. I took care of her, as best as I could. And she took care of me when she could do it. She died when I was 14." He failed her, he knew that, he should have ignored her and called for a doctor. He should have sought help but he didn't. "I've been alone since she left me."
"Wow. You were young. Sorry she died, seems like she was a nice lady." Xue Yang could kind of picture her now, she would have been pretty. Short, like Meng Yao. A nice smile and soft touches. He knew what mothers could be like, when they were nice.
He started rinsing his own hair, running his fingers along the sides of his head and deciding that he needed a haircut some time soon too. Then he turned off the showerhead, so he could set it aside and put his hands on Meng Yao's hips. So he could look at him. "You're not alone now. Never again."
"Neither are you. I'll take care of you too, A-Yang." Was he allowed to call him that? He didn't know. He was pretty insistent that he said gege but he didn't care any more. He had already experienced enough tonight, what was another explosion. He tilted his head to the side and looked up at Xue Yang, Biting his lower lip.
Xue Yang was hot. He was well muscled, he was strong and solid, he had tattoos and a pretty sizable dick. He was quite the sight. "You're so handsome."
"Yah." Xue Yang wasn't about to discover modesty for the first time just to deny that compliment. "You're a pretty boy, really. Just gotta arrange you properly."
He almost seemed to want to not be seen as pretty on purpose, although Xue Yang assumed it was not intentional. He was just accidentally gifted in that. Posing for Meng Yao now, he suddenly realised. "Right, it's the first time you've seen me all naked, yeah?"
Playfully, he lifted his arms and flexed. "You should touch."
At the moment, he paid no mind to how Meng Yao addressed him, even if it might have bothered him at a different time.
Meng Yao smiled a slightly dopey smile as he came closer and looked at Xue Yang a little more but he touched his arms with great interest. Solid. Strong. They were definitely his type. He loved that Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue had been strong too. Muscle was such a turn on. He smiled at Xue Yang and then his hands drifted to his chest, touching his abdomen. Still so solid.
"I can be pretty when I care, I just ... lately, why care? Everyone judges me anyway." So why not look like what people felt he was? It was easier in the end.
"I guess. You can just be pretty for me, when I want you to be. I like your smile. And your frog eyes, they are cute." He certainly found them appealing. Xue Yang looked down, watching where Meng Yao's fingers went. Then he explained, as he traced the tattoo in question. "Jiangzai. That's one of the things they called me when I was young. I thought I should own it."
Why protest? He knew he had been quite notorious. "Do you like tattoos? Some guys think it's too much."
"I have frog eyes?" Was that good or bad? Actually, no, he didn't want to know. He swallowed hard and then lowered his own head, not wanting to dive too deep into that thought. "I'll be cute for you and only you. It isn't hard, most people think I'm creepy." Even when he showered, dressed nice and tried his best. So why bother any more?
He touched one of the tattoos and nodded his head. "They're really pretty. I like them. Are you in a gang?" Usually it was a gang thing, right? "I never stalked you in the scary neighbourhoods. I thought I'd get mugged so..."
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toxicbaes2025-06-01 08:20 pm
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"At least my last days weren't lonely." Meng Yao told Xue Yang, tears in his eyes, smiling weakly. "I'm tired of being lonely. I want it to end."
Only he didn't and he was terrified. The man had the knife now and his body was shaking in fear as he looked at the much bigger man. Did he know how to kill him quickly? "Do it. Do it properly!"
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Xue Yang finally got up, rolling his eyes. "I want you to kill him, not draw it out. Come on, that's just cruel. How hard is it to stab someone?"
Apparently very.
"I-- I can't, not when he looks like that..." The man sounded snively and pathetic. Very off-putting.
With a sigh, Xue Yang reached for the duct tape and walked over to him, using it to blindfold him. Just one strip over his eyes. "There. Now hold the knife properly and I'll guide you."
He stepped behind him, head propped up on his shoulder as he looked at Meng Yao. "Hold still, xiao Yao, yeah? I'll make sure it's fast."
no subject
He closed his own eyes now, shaking, trying not to listen to the ugly bastard that Xue Yang was hiding behind to kill him.
He meant so little to him, he wouldn't even stab him himself. All of this because he panicked over a blowjob. Seemed fair. "Please."
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And he rushed Meng Yao, until there was an impact. Until there was the familiar sound of someone getting stabbed, the smell of fresh blood filling the room. Warm liquid spilled between Meng Yao and the man.
One of them had been stabbed. Only it was the man, not Meng Yao.
"Oops," Xue Yang said, with a smile. He let go of the dying man, taking a step back and looking at Meng Yao. "Aw, xiao Yao. So melodramatic. You just killed your first person, you should be happy."
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He was twitching but his eyes were rolled in his head. He was dying.
"... He's dead?!" What the fuck? Did he just kill someone? How? What did he do? His legs gave out and he fell onto the floor, eyes wide with horror. "Wha-- I don't underst-- help." Something was wrong. "Help me, I don't understand."
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He picked him up off the ground easily. Meng Yao weighed so little. "I just had to make you understand, yeah? Do you get it?"
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"You picked me." Right? That was what happened. He was picked. Above anyone else.
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He set Meng Yao down on the edge of the tub, then reached for the hem of his shirt so he could pull it off over his head. "You're my xiao Yao." He stood before him, half-naked, putting a hand on Meng Yao's shoulder. "You'd just pissed me off, so..."
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Dazed, he looked at Xue Yang, his eyes slightly out of focus. "I'm sorry I pissed you off. I won't do it again. I'll try my best. I promise. Don't hate me any more."
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Better already. "Your face when you saw what that fatty looked like." He had to grin. "Were you jealous?"
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He thought Xue Yang didn't want him any more. "I didn't understand why you picked him of all people. I thought you wanted to hurt me as much as you could." That he was so little that any old bastard would have him instead. "Do you want me to be jealous?"
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There was that. Xue Yang grinned at him, then nodded. "Of course I want you to be jealous. It's fun! Jealousy is-- It's proof you care, isn't it? I want you burning with envy over anyone else even getting to look at me."
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Moving away from Xue Yang, he turned around and placed a hand on Xue Yang's cheek, making the other look at him and bracing himself in case he hit him. "I want you to be mine. Only mine. I'll always be yours so it's only fair if you're mine too."
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Still, he kind of liked it. That Meng Yao wanted him like this, that he was making demands. That he wanted it so absolutely. As he had said, it made it feel more real. "So, what? You want me to only fuck you?" Was that what it was about? Guess we really ought to go clubbing together."
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"I want you to be with me. I don't want to be alone. Neither do you. I want to be with someone." And why couldn't have someone be Xue Yang. "If you can't love me, just like me."
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"It's wasn't all on you tonight." It was not an apology, but it was something. "I was in a bad mood. Those girls. It was their fault."
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"My mother was a whore. I grew up in a brothel. People aren't... aren't nice. I thought you were mocking my reaction for being too much. Like... Like I was being a whore." He was projecting, he knew it, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't turn that part of his brain off. "I'm not a whore."
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He waited for him to comply before he started rinsing it, at the same time running a finger along Meng Yao's throat. He really was quite pretty to look at, especially in moments like this. So vulnerable. "I'd not bother with a whore. Why would I? Have you seen me?"
He shrugged and started washing his own hair now. "I don't pay for it."
Still, maybe he should say something more. Something else. "Was your mother not nice either?"
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"No, she is the best. I took care of her, as best as I could. And she took care of me when she could do it. She died when I was 14." He failed her, he knew that, he should have ignored her and called for a doctor. He should have sought help but he didn't. "I've been alone since she left me."
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He started rinsing his own hair, running his fingers along the sides of his head and deciding that he needed a haircut some time soon too. Then he turned off the showerhead, so he could set it aside and put his hands on Meng Yao's hips. So he could look at him. "You're not alone now. Never again."
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Xue Yang was hot. He was well muscled, he was strong and solid, he had tattoos and a pretty sizable dick. He was quite the sight. "You're so handsome."
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He almost seemed to want to not be seen as pretty on purpose, although Xue Yang assumed it was not intentional. He was just accidentally gifted in that. Posing for Meng Yao now, he suddenly realised. "Right, it's the first time you've seen me all naked, yeah?"
Playfully, he lifted his arms and flexed. "You should touch."
At the moment, he paid no mind to how Meng Yao addressed him, even if it might have bothered him at a different time.
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Meng Yao smiled a slightly dopey smile as he came closer and looked at Xue Yang a little more but he touched his arms with great interest. Solid. Strong. They were definitely his type. He loved that Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue had been strong too. Muscle was such a turn on. He smiled at Xue Yang and then his hands drifted to his chest, touching his abdomen. Still so solid.
"I can be pretty when I care, I just ... lately, why care? Everyone judges me anyway." So why not look like what people felt he was? It was easier in the end.
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Why protest? He knew he had been quite notorious. "Do you like tattoos? Some guys think it's too much."
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He touched one of the tattoos and nodded his head. "They're really pretty. I like them. Are you in a gang?" Usually it was a gang thing, right? "I never stalked you in the scary neighbourhoods. I thought I'd get mugged so..."
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