He didn't often dream of high school. He hated high school. He was bullied every single day of high school, he struck out with his true love there, he had to be around his stuck up brother and overall, he hadn't liked a second of it. He had nightmares but they were always more abstract, not really like this.
This dream felt too real. It was almost like he was back in high school. It was so vivid. He woke up in his old bed, with his old bedsheets and everything. He had schedules on his phone and they were all about school tests.
And then there was the date on the calendar.
It was the day he was supposed to give Lian Mei his present. Shit.
The present!
He left the house eventually, carefully holding the present and hurrying towards the school. No school bag, no supplies, but he had bothered to put on the uniform - he didn't want to look like a slob but he wasn't actually going to attend school... right? It was a dream, usually one could skip the boring parts.
Arriving at school, the big clock showed it was second period. Third period, free period, was when they exchanged gifts. He had never cut class before, even in a dream, and it was kind of funny. He had been late the original day too, because he had a dentist appointment. He had been very late coming back so he was running and that was when he hit Xue Yang. The delinquent wasn't in class for some reason!
Well, not this time. He gripped the gift tight and prepared himself. This time, he would not drop the gift. Even if he had to hurt his shoulder, he would not relent. Not to Xue Yang. Not this time.
Xue Yang was in the hallway, biding his time until the lesson ended so he could slip in when it was a bit less obvious. Besides, he really wanted to miss whatever lesson they had right now. He wasn't even sure what it was, but looking inside there had been a banana peel in the teacher's hand and that just seemed too weird.
So he stayed outside, tossing his keys to himself as he waited. When he heard steps approaching, he turned his head and when he recognised his classmate, he grinned. "What? You're late? That's so embarrassing."
He took a step further into the middle, facing Meng Yao. Clearly not intending to simply let him pass.
Meng Yao looked at Xue Yang and yes, this is the one he remembered. Not the smug asshole from the commercials and TV. No, this one. The punk that stole Mei from him, broke his present and beat him up. The one who took his clothes when he was showering after gym, the one that teased him and spread rumours about him being a pervert. He hated Xue Yang.
But he was just a boy. An idiot boy. And Meng Yao was a man.
"What's embarrassing is you hiding in the hallway. Just go into class, if you're so untouchable. Who cares?" Meng Yao dismissed as he moved to walk around Xue Yang. "Move, please."
"I mean, I care. Class is a drag right now. They are discussing fruit or some shit, who cares?" Xue Yang pulled a face, taking a step to the side to keep on blocking Meng Yao. "Why are you in such a hurry?"
Clearly there was nothing that exciting going on. "Who says I'm untouchable anyway? I'm not. I can be touched." With a grin, he reached out and shoved Meng Yao's shoulder. Just slightly. "You can too."
Which was fun. "Eh, you are late same as me. Don't think you're better than I am."
"I'm not in a hurry, I have two minutes until the bell goes. Then it's free period. I just want to get to my locker." Inside, he had a card, if he remembered correctly. It'd be a good thing to gift Lian Mei with something he wrote personally alongside it. "You're in the way."
Of course, Xue Yang knew that. He wasn't insane, he didn't want to get beaten up in his dream but he wasn't going to stand by and hide away like he always did. He had been a teenager then, now he was an adult. He didn't have to hide and beg. Besides, it was a fucking dream - who even cared?
"I think I'm smarter than you." Meng Yao informed him boldly, went left so Xue Yang followed him and then spun around, in a nice little circle, using the distraction to slip passed Xue Yang. He was more elegant as a teenager - much more flexible. He could still move with agility. Now he was past Xue Yang, he laughed. "Haha, you missed."
"What the fuck was that?" Xue Yang was too baffled to be angry, blinking as he tried to figure out just what had even happened. "Are you dancing with me now?"
He ended up letting out an incredulous laugh. Then he sped up with a sudden spring, only to this time end up walking next to Meng Yao, with an arm loosely around his shoulder. "You're funny today, Yao. I like it."
Certainly entertaining in a different way than when he just stared at the ground pretending to not be there. Although that was funny too. "So, you are smarter than me. Anything else?"
"Don't touch me." Rolling his eyes, he ducked under the arm. Literally. He crouched until he was out from under Xue Yang and slipped behind him because his locker was right there and he wanted only that. His mind was focus on one mission and Xue Yang was just a weird pest in the way of what he was doing.
He put in his code and opened his locker, pulling out the gift bag with a card in it. He put the present into it carefully with a content smile.
Turning to Xue Yang, he gave him a cocky smile. "This isn't your world, it's mine. So back off and let me get my happy ending, okay?"
"I always thought we kinda... shared the world," Xue Yang remarked idly, mostly distracted by this display. What was going on? He had never seen his classmate like this before. That smile suited him quite well, especially with the dimples. "Huh."
Strange. "Go and get it then, tiger."
More of a kitten, but whatever. He grinned and stepped back, playfully gesturing with a bit of a flourish. "Off you go."
The bell was ringing and Meng Yao looked through the bag. It was actually how he wanted it - for the first time, he felt like something had gone right. All he had to do was go upstairs, present it to Lian Mei before Xue Yang could claim credit for something he hadn't done and then -- well, he didn't know? Good dream? Better future? Who was to say? This whole thing was so weird.
He held the bag in his hand, closed his locker and turned around in the sea of people. So many kids changing to their electives. He had missed that. He moved through them until he got to the open area by the staircase. He had a determined smile on his face and as he looked up the staircase, he stopped immediately. His smile dropped off his face.
He was staring at Jin Zixuan. Alive. Walking down the stairs, entirely normal. He was in such shock, all he could do was stare.
They had never discussed it, obviously, but for years Meng Yao and him had coexisted without acknowledging each other. Jin Zixuan always felt it was a shame but also had no idea how to break that custom. He certainly knew his father would not want him to break it. Also, he was never good at starting conversations. Or keeping them going, for that matter.
But when he noticed Meng Yao staring at him now, he froze and simply stood on the staircase for a few seconds. Finally, he inclined his head. "Brother."
Meng Yao had no idea what came over him but he dropped his important fucking bag on the floor and hurried up the steps so he could hug Jin Zixuan.
He always felt like it was his fault. He had wished death on Jin Zixuan so often. Too often. It was only a week before the wedding that Jin Zixuan had expressed his regret that they had never been close. It was five days later that he had crashed and died. It wasn't his fault, some idiot in a van hit him. And it was his fault because for years, he looked at his dumb sports car with envy and hoped that the idiot would lose control and die. He willed it into existence and he couldn't take it back.
So he just held his brother now, tight, his heart racing. "I'm so sorry."
"Er... There, there..." What was happening? At a loss for what to do and feeling eyes on them even though he had no idea if anyone had even noticed them, Jin Zixuan looked troubled as he put a hand on Meng Yao's back, patting it lightly. "That's okay."
Whatever he was even sorry for, he certainly had no idea. "Is something wrong, brother?"
"Yes, something is wrong. Your stupid car." Meng Yao grit out, angry and annoyed but knowing that this was all entirely irrational. He pulled back and he was looking at Jin Zixuan, tears in his eyes despite how much he was trying to keep it together. "You're rich. Just get yourself a driver. And why are you driving in such a flash car? They don't even have good safety features!"
He was lecturing him now and yes, people were looking but he didn't care. It was his dream and he could say what he wanted. "Mercedes Benz C Class or a Toyota Corolla. I don't care if our father has stock in it, who wants a Denza Z? AI should not be involved in a car!"
"I don't drive a car... I don't have a license." Rather obviously not, Jin Zixuan thought. Meng Yao was unlike he had ever seen him before, so he looked at him with obvious consternation by now. Just what was going on? "I promise I won't ever get a Denza Z."
Whatever that was. He knew stuff about cars but mostly surface level stuff. Some looked cool, he supposed. "I didn't know you knew that much about cars."
Obviously not, he knew nothing about Meng Yao anyway. Other than a weird car outburst, apparently. Could he do something with that? Conversation, what a difficult art. "Do you want to look at cars some time? I mean. Together."
"What? ... I -- What?" Car shopping? Together? Why would he ever do that? He couldn't afford a car in a million years. His father told him he didn't need any money towards a car but he did give him a bus pass. For the first year at the company. Then he had to buy it himself. The idea of looking at cars was --
"I just never knew how to talk to you. I wanted us to be closer. I wanted a brother."
Jin Zixuan's words echoed in his head and then he realised. He was offering to do something with him. Even though he was clearly acting insane. "... Can I pick your first car? I've well researched car safety features."
"Then you've done more than me." Perhaps to a slightly ridiculous degree but maybe it made sense. Meng Yao was always looking a little worried, clearly he was scared of cars. He supposed it was a sensible fear to have, really. "I don't know when I'll get my first car. I really need a licence first."
It seemed a little ridiculous otherwise. "But you could explain what's best to me." Jin Zixuan shrugged. "I would welcome your advice, brother."
"Okay, then -- oh no." Meng Yao just realised he had dropped his gift and hurried immediately back down the stairs, crouching down and looking into the bag. Damn it. He pulled out the stupidly fragile present and he knew he had fucked up. He had lost his chance. AGAIN. How? He couldn't give her this busted up thing.
"I broke my present." Meng Yao puffed out his cheeks in frustration and then looked up at Jin Zixuan. "I'm cursed..."
"Did you get the present or did you receive it?" What was it? Jin Zixuan wisely refrained from asking that, but he reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet. He immediately opened it to withdraw what notes he had in there, something around 680 or so, he assumed. Holding them out to Meng Yao, he frowned. "Please. Replace it, either way. Is that enough?"
He had made him drop the bag, he supposed that was the least he could do.
"Uh... that's a lot of money." He couldn't take money from his half brother. It was embarrassing. Then again, maybe he could make it up to Mei by taking her to eat somewhere really special! And then he could win her over. "It was a present for a person I was secret buddies with. But I think I will once again miss the meeting."
He smiled half-heartedly and took the insane amount of change he just seemed to have in his wallet. "I will pay you back."
"Don't pay me back. It's my fault you dropped it." So there was no debt any more now, with Meng Yao accepting his payment. Also, and Jin Zixuan tried to say it. Remembering how it looked when he saw Yanli talk to her brothers. He smiled, as much as he could. It was not the best attempt. "There are no debts between siblings."
That was a weird fucking smile. So that was definitely a family smile, good to know. He had seen that smile on his own face before. He only half smiled back because he was worried it would be too much awkwardness for one moment. Standing up again, Meng Yao bowed to his brother as he always had.
Then, because it was his dream world, he felt a stubborn pull and looked at Jin Zixuan again. "Have dinner with me tomorrow."
"...sure." This was strange. But then, Jin Zixuan supposed, maybe his brother did feel the same way he did. That it would be nice to have someone to talk to that already had a connection with him. Someone he didn't have to work on impressing or worry so much about keeping up appearances. A brother. Why could they not be close? Why was it so difficult?
"Where do you want to go? I'll pay." He didn't mean to be impolite. He just kind of was, knowing that he had money and Meng Yao did not.
"I eat very cheap so everywhere I know, it wouldn't be good for you." Meng Yao admitted because as a young man, he mostly had eaten at cheap noodle or sushi places. Until the food poisoning event that caused him to only cook at home. Which meant very bland congee and boring rice dishes.
"Please pick somewhere, I would like to try something new. I never get any good food." Meng Yao confessed as he looked at Jin Zixuan, it was awkward but this was what his brother had wanted and now he had a chance, why would he not take it? "Brother, I do not have your number in my phone."
He took out his phone and then held it out. "It would be hard to stay in touch without it."
"Of course." Jin Zixuan was happy to hear Meng Yao call him 'brother'. Maybe this was working out for them after all. He typed in his number and saved it, casually, under just 'Zixuan'. Feeling daring, he even added 'bro'. Then he handed the phone back to Meng Yao. "Simply text me. I shall make reservations for us at a nice place."
He had no idea where. Maybe he could look it up. Whatever, as long as the food wasn't lower class, he was sure it would be fine.
Events will have played out exactly how they were supposed to, sure, but at least he had an in now. He could fix Jin Zixuan if nothing else. Then Yanli would have a husband, Jin Ling would have a father and he wouldn't have to feel like a murderer any more. "I'm happy to see you. I will admit, I always wanted a brother." And then he smiled, big and wide, just to put Jin Zixuan at ease. He knew by now that if left without 100% confirmation, his brother would worry as much as he would.
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This dream felt too real. It was almost like he was back in high school. It was so vivid. He woke up in his old bed, with his old bedsheets and everything. He had schedules on his phone and they were all about school tests.
And then there was the date on the calendar.
It was the day he was supposed to give Lian Mei his present. Shit.
The present!
He left the house eventually, carefully holding the present and hurrying towards the school. No school bag, no supplies, but he had bothered to put on the uniform - he didn't want to look like a slob but he wasn't actually going to attend school... right? It was a dream, usually one could skip the boring parts.
Arriving at school, the big clock showed it was second period. Third period, free period, was when they exchanged gifts. He had never cut class before, even in a dream, and it was kind of funny. He had been late the original day too, because he had a dentist appointment. He had been very late coming back so he was running and that was when he hit Xue Yang. The delinquent wasn't in class for some reason!
Well, not this time. He gripped the gift tight and prepared himself. This time, he would not drop the gift. Even if he had to hurt his shoulder, he would not relent. Not to Xue Yang. Not this time.
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So he stayed outside, tossing his keys to himself as he waited. When he heard steps approaching, he turned his head and when he recognised his classmate, he grinned. "What? You're late? That's so embarrassing."
He took a step further into the middle, facing Meng Yao. Clearly not intending to simply let him pass.
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But he was just a boy. An idiot boy. And Meng Yao was a man.
"What's embarrassing is you hiding in the hallway. Just go into class, if you're so untouchable. Who cares?" Meng Yao dismissed as he moved to walk around Xue Yang. "Move, please."
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Clearly there was nothing that exciting going on. "Who says I'm untouchable anyway? I'm not. I can be touched." With a grin, he reached out and shoved Meng Yao's shoulder. Just slightly. "You can too."
Which was fun. "Eh, you are late same as me. Don't think you're better than I am."
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Of course, Xue Yang knew that. He wasn't insane, he didn't want to get beaten up in his dream but he wasn't going to stand by and hide away like he always did. He had been a teenager then, now he was an adult. He didn't have to hide and beg. Besides, it was a fucking dream - who even cared?
"I think I'm smarter than you." Meng Yao informed him boldly, went left so Xue Yang followed him and then spun around, in a nice little circle, using the distraction to slip passed Xue Yang. He was more elegant as a teenager - much more flexible. He could still move with agility. Now he was past Xue Yang, he laughed. "Haha, you missed."
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He ended up letting out an incredulous laugh. Then he sped up with a sudden spring, only to this time end up walking next to Meng Yao, with an arm loosely around his shoulder. "You're funny today, Yao. I like it."
Certainly entertaining in a different way than when he just stared at the ground pretending to not be there. Although that was funny too. "So, you are smarter than me. Anything else?"
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He put in his code and opened his locker, pulling out the gift bag with a card in it. He put the present into it carefully with a content smile.
Turning to Xue Yang, he gave him a cocky smile. "This isn't your world, it's mine. So back off and let me get my happy ending, okay?"
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Strange. "Go and get it then, tiger."
More of a kitten, but whatever. He grinned and stepped back, playfully gesturing with a bit of a flourish. "Off you go."
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The bell was ringing and Meng Yao looked through the bag. It was actually how he wanted it - for the first time, he felt like something had gone right. All he had to do was go upstairs, present it to Lian Mei before Xue Yang could claim credit for something he hadn't done and then -- well, he didn't know? Good dream? Better future? Who was to say? This whole thing was so weird.
He held the bag in his hand, closed his locker and turned around in the sea of people. So many kids changing to their electives. He had missed that. He moved through them until he got to the open area by the staircase. He had a determined smile on his face and as he looked up the staircase, he stopped immediately. His smile dropped off his face.
He was staring at Jin Zixuan. Alive. Walking down the stairs, entirely normal. He was in such shock, all he could do was stare.
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But when he noticed Meng Yao staring at him now, he froze and simply stood on the staircase for a few seconds. Finally, he inclined his head. "Brother."
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He always felt like it was his fault. He had wished death on Jin Zixuan so often. Too often. It was only a week before the wedding that Jin Zixuan had expressed his regret that they had never been close. It was five days later that he had crashed and died. It wasn't his fault, some idiot in a van hit him. And it was his fault because for years, he looked at his dumb sports car with envy and hoped that the idiot would lose control and die. He willed it into existence and he couldn't take it back.
So he just held his brother now, tight, his heart racing. "I'm so sorry."
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Whatever he was even sorry for, he certainly had no idea. "Is something wrong, brother?"
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He was lecturing him now and yes, people were looking but he didn't care. It was his dream and he could say what he wanted. "Mercedes Benz C Class or a Toyota Corolla. I don't care if our father has stock in it, who wants a Denza Z? AI should not be involved in a car!"
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Whatever that was. He knew stuff about cars but mostly surface level stuff. Some looked cool, he supposed. "I didn't know you knew that much about cars."
Obviously not, he knew nothing about Meng Yao anyway. Other than a weird car outburst, apparently. Could he do something with that? Conversation, what a difficult art. "Do you want to look at cars some time? I mean. Together."
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"I just never knew how to talk to you. I wanted us to be closer. I wanted a brother."
Jin Zixuan's words echoed in his head and then he realised. He was offering to do something with him. Even though he was clearly acting insane. "... Can I pick your first car? I've well researched car safety features."
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It seemed a little ridiculous otherwise. "But you could explain what's best to me." Jin Zixuan shrugged. "I would welcome your advice, brother."
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"I broke my present." Meng Yao puffed out his cheeks in frustration and then looked up at Jin Zixuan. "I'm cursed..."
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He had made him drop the bag, he supposed that was the least he could do.
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He smiled half-heartedly and took the insane amount of change he just seemed to have in his wallet. "I will pay you back."
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Was that good? He hoped so.
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Then, because it was his dream world, he felt a stubborn pull and looked at Jin Zixuan again. "Have dinner with me tomorrow."
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"Where do you want to go? I'll pay." He didn't mean to be impolite. He just kind of was, knowing that he had money and Meng Yao did not.
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"Please pick somewhere, I would like to try something new. I never get any good food." Meng Yao confessed as he looked at Jin Zixuan, it was awkward but this was what his brother had wanted and now he had a chance, why would he not take it? "Brother, I do not have your number in my phone."
He took out his phone and then held it out. "It would be hard to stay in touch without it."
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He had no idea where. Maybe he could look it up. Whatever, as long as the food wasn't lower class, he was sure it would be fine.
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Events will have played out exactly how they were supposed to, sure, but at least he had an in now. He could fix Jin Zixuan if nothing else. Then Yanli would have a husband, Jin Ling would have a father and he wouldn't have to feel like a murderer any more. "I'm happy to see you. I will admit, I always wanted a brother." And then he smiled, big and wide, just to put Jin Zixuan at ease. He knew by now that if left without 100% confirmation, his brother would worry as much as he would.
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