toxicbaes | You must like being the victim, you've done nothing to get out

"I think it hurts because they haven't paid for it. All their lives for my finger. It's only fair. Isn't my pain worth that much?" Xue Yang certainly thought so. "I've never had a mama, but I can kill a fucker."

So there was that. He turned around, looking at Meng Yao and raising his hands to touch his braids. As he watched Meng Yao's face, caught his eyes, he gradually started to smile. "I like you better than any mirror, xiao Yao. I look best when you look at me."

It was certainly good for the ego.

"You are very handsome." Meng Yao admitted, wondering how many people Xue Yang had killed as he stared at his adorable face. He was a mass killer, based on all he had said, but that could be anything from a handful to a sports team. He was unsure how to proceed, afraid of provoking the angry monster that burst out sometimes.

"I'm sorry I can't make it better for you, gege." He liked gege, they both did, it was part of the whole game. He smiled nervously, his heart racing in his chest. "I won't touch it ever again."

"You are a good boy, xiao Yao. You know gege gets angry sometimes." Xue Yang reached up, with the bandaged hand. He used it to cup the side of Meng Yao's face, touching it so gently. He was oddly beautiful at times. Even pale and with those bags under his eyes. Maybe he should let him sleep somewhere nicer soon, make sure he got some proper rest. "The world is bad and there are no good people. It's not fair. But I can make it better for us. I can make sure you don't leave me. Then we'll always have each other."

It seemed like a fair compromise. "You don't want to leave me, right? You love me."

"No, I don't want to leave you." Meng Yao told him as he leaned into his touch and enjoyed how soft it was, how he was looking at him, the way it almost melted him entirely. He had no tenderness from anyone else and all drawbacks aside, it was nice, in some ways, to have someone who wanted him. He had been rejected constantly through his life, why not indulge in someone who cared.

"I'm your good boy, I wouldn't leave." He wanted to go outside. He wanted to go back to work. He wanted his life back. Yet, at the same time, he felt like he wanted this. Or maybe he had just talked himself into wanting it. "The world is bad. Everyone is an asshole. I don't want to ever see anyone else but you."

And that part felt true. Strangely.

"Promise it." Xue Yang demanded it, wondering whether he could ever believe it. And how stupid he was for being tempted to believe. He ran a hand through Meng Yao's hair, fingers tangling with the dark strands. He really ought to give him a proper haircut. It wasn't looking the best. But it was shiny and clean and it felt nice to touch it. "Promise it and then I'll let you stay free while I go to work today."

"I promise it."

He could earn this trust, get some freedom and eventually, he could use it. Right? That was the plan. He had to use it. He shook his head a little to get his hair out of his eyes, looking at Xue Yang with a small smile. "I'll be really good. You won't be able to see how much I love you and want to be with you if you never give me a chance to show it."

"Nah. I guess not." Xue Yang had to admit that. He supposed he had a point there. It still felt strange, his chest oddly tight and pained when he considered it. He didn't want to lose Meng Yao. He liked the idea of coming home to him smiling like this too much.

So he moved his hand, drawing a line along his throat with the tip of one finger. "If I find that you've tried to get away when I come back, I'll find you, however far you've got, and I'll slit your throat."

It was said almost casually, which perhaps made it all the more chilling. "I won't cut too deeply. You'd bleed out slowly, drowning in it. It can take hours."

"I won't! I swear, I won't!" Meng Yao didn't want to experience that, he couldn't even imagine that much blood. He was ready, he would prove himself. He would do this all as safely as he could and then... well, he didn't know what next. He had to start scheming but he was struggling with his focus lately. Sleeping on the floor in a cold room was not productive, neither were multiple beatings.

"I'll show you. I'll be there and the house will be really nice. Promise. I will make you smile." That was a promise he was hoping he could keep.

"If you are there when I get home, like that, then it will be nice. Because if you love me, then I love you." It would be fair that way and he wouldn't be the stupid one. "Then we can sleep together, xiao Yao." He gestured to the bed to make himself clear. "Be a good boy for gege and xiao Yao gets to sleep in my bed tonight. In my arms."

Surely that was a good offer, if not as visceral as the description of a slit throat. "If you earn it, I'll even make you come."

"Sleep in the bed with you?" His eyes lit up. The idea of a bed was exciting, the idea of being in someone's arms was more exciting. He was so eager, he was practically wriggling with excitement. "Tomorrow will be a very good day, gege."

He could feel it. He was going to sleep so well.

You must like being the victim, you've done nothing to get out

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