toxicbaes | You must like being the victim, you've done nothing to get out

Meng Yao struggled to get himself up off the floor, it was hard and his leg was so sensitive. He managed to get himself up mostly by using his hands, balancing on one leg and holding onto Xue Yang's arm. "Please don't break the other one. It hurts so much." His leg was in agony, he couldn't imagine both of them being this fucked up. He wouldn't be able to move himself.

He was shaking a little, putting his effort into balance, fingers gripping tight onto Xue Yang as he nodded his head. "I'm ready." Hopefully. He didn't want to fall on his face.

Xue Yang rolled his eyes, but he actually wrapped an arm around Meng Yao, hand curling around his hip to stabilise him. With that, he walked him out of the room, down the dark hallway. He opened the door at the end, coming out in his bedroom. "Recognise it? That's where you've jerked off."

He gestured to the bed and laughed, then moved him further to the bathroom. He let go of Meng Yao there, taking a step back. "Strip down. I can't clean you properly otherwise."

"I didn't jerk off on your bed." Other places, yes, but not on the bed. The couch, yes. And he did hump his bed at one point but he hadn't actually come on it. Not that it was really worth quibbling over.

It wasn't hard to strip down, Xue Yang had already taken most of his clothes, but that didn't make the task easy. Meng Yao didn't want to take off his clothes. It was embarrassing and he didn't want the other man to see his dick. Even so, he knew there was no choice. He leaned against the bathroom wall heavily and pulled his underwear down, gently moving his legs under it was off.

"You're kinda small in general, huh? I can count your ribs." He had known that before, obviously, ever since he'd first taken off his clothes, but in the light here it was even more obvious. As was his dick, which was really not bad-looking, but definitely smaller than his. Xue Yang kind of liked that at the moment though, so he wasn't complaining. Just observing.

"Get into the shower. And stop being so fucking slow, I've got other things to do with my time than take care of you."

Meng Yao limped slowly to the shower, it was pretty painful to move still and once he hit the part where he had to lift his leg, he tried his best to never once put pressure on his bad leg but even so, he stumbled and caught himself on the taps, clinging to them as he backed himself into a corner.

He looked at Xue Yang, frustrated that he was complaining at him like this. It wasn't his damn fault that the idiot had smashed his leg. His nostrils flared without meaning to and he swallowed hard, as angry as he was terrified. "It's hard to be fast, it hurts."

"Damn, all you do is whine and complain. Who's the one that made me hurt you, eh?" It wasn't as if he had told Meng Yao to try and get away from him. He shook his head, heading into the bathroom now and reaching for the showerhead. He turned on the water, deciding to leave it cold because the little pervert was getting on his nerves. "Someone like you pisses me off. All of this and you dare give me attitude?"

He turned the showerhead to aim the water right at Meng Yao's face, so he'd have to struggle to get some air and not just swallow water.

Meng Yao gasped and choked on the water coming right into his face and up his nose. For a second, he was genuinely scared that he would never be able to breathe again. It was freezing cold too, it felt like it was burning him but a cold burn, not a hot one. He moved his head to the side desperately and fell as he did, hitting his head on the shower wall and curling into a protective ball on the floor.

What else could he do? He had to cover his face or he was going to drown on land. "Fuck, stop it!" Meng Yao cried out as he briefly convulsed from the cold and how hard his poor leg had hit the shower floor.

"Little bitch," Xue Yang muttered, but he mercifully lowered the water pressure slightly and even adjusted the temperature. With the water now just hitting Meng Yao's back, he felt that he was treating him quite well. He reached for a bottle of shampoo and held it out to him. "Eh! Take that. You can wash your own hair, can't you?"

Looking at him critically, he snorted. "Kinda looks like you've forgotten how to do it. You're quite the little pig for someone so weirded out by fluids."

Meng Yao took the shampoo and sat up, tentatively, afraid and ready to cover his face if he needed to. His nose was burning from the water and it kept slipping into the back of his throat. He coughed weakly as he washed his hair, careful of his eyes. He knew he was in the best state, the past week had been rough. Hell, the past month had been. Ever since Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen got together, his brain had just broken. His house was spotless and yet, half the time, he couldn't bring himself to shower or move. He hadn't been outside in a while too.

He was not proud of it and he didn't need Xue Yang pointing it out. "I've been sick." Meng Yao lied as he finished lathering his hair. "And I work a lot."

"Quite the excuse." Xue Yang snorted and then gestured. "Lean your head back, I'll rinse out your hair. Then wash your body. Don't forget your hole either, in case I wanna stick it in it." He hadn't yet decided whether he wanted to but he felt it was best to be prepared.

He watched him in silence as he helped him wash off, then he finally turned off the water and put the showerhead back. Xue Yang turned and grabbed a towel, tossing it at Meng Yao. Fine, it was a used towel, but the guy liked his scent so damn much, surely he would not complain about that too. "Dry yourself off."

"This towel, it's already wet." Meng Yao pointed out as sat on the shower floor, not sure how he would get out of the shower with a broken ankle. It was so slippering and even crawling hurt. He sat there, splayed out, unsure what he to do. He looked at the towel and then sniffed it, just checking how used it was, he wasn't trying to be weird. Though he guess he was always a bit weird. It was used.

He pulled a face but used it to dry his hair as best he could. He was so fucked. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't get up.

"Whine, whine, whine..." Xue Yang sounded annoyed, even as he moved back over, having grabbed a fresh towel. He grabbed Meng Yao by one arm and pulled him up. Then he held him from behind, wrapping the towel around him. He rubbed his chest to dry him off, holding him in what might as well have been a lover's embrace. His grip was tight, but not painfully so. "Is that better?"

Speaking in a lower voice now, it could be mistaken for gentle.

Meng Yao yelped in surprise, the sudden jerk was painful but not as painful as it could have been. He was shivering as the other manhandled him, drying him off in a clean towel. It was nice. No one had ever taken care of him, not really. His mother, when he was a small child, but she had always been busy. Busy, depressed, in pain. No one had held him since she'd died.

Now he was holding him and he leaned his head back suddenly, closing his eyes. He was being held. "Yes." It was. It actually was. "Thank you."

"Huh." He was so taken aback by the genuine response that he had to react with a sound, unsure what to say at the moment. He rubbed Meng Yao's chest for a few more moments and then he lifted him off his feet, actually carrying him this time. He was clean and smelled nice now, so why not be a bit more tender with him? Just for the moment. "You look pretty sweet. I like your smile."

Might as well tell him. He walked back into the bedroom and then hesitated, debating where to take him.

"I like your smile too. You're very cute when you're happy." He once saw Xue Yang win a Pikachu from a crane machine and every second of it was trapped in his memory. He didn't just lust for Xue Yang, he found everything about him fascinated. Every emotion just came freely and was out in the open, even if he wasn't sure how much Xue Yang understood them. There was such a comforting simpliness there.

He wrapped his arms around Xue Yang and pressed his head lightly against the other's shoulders. Like this, he felt special. Like Xue Yang actually liked him. "Am I going back now? I can practise more, I guess. I will show you I'm better now."

"Dunno." He really didn't, he hadn't made up his mind. In the end, he walked out of the bedroom and through the living room, where he sat Meng Yao down on the sofa. "I'm hungry. You should eat too."

He could still figure things out from there. "This is tough, y'know? Usually I don't keep anyone around this long, either they leave or I kill them."

It was a simple life. Meng Yao was already different, even after just a few hours. Xue Yang turned around and headed into the kitchen, so he could cook up some leftovers. He had taken stuff back from the restaurant. Calling out, he asked from the other room. "How long you been watching me?"

"... Kill them?" He killed people. So that was what the torture room was for. He was shivering lightly as he pulled his legs up to his chest, watching Xue Yang from the sofa curiously. He had never noticed that. Or maybe he wasn't paying enough attention. He wasn't always watching. He just knew that men came home with him, he never checked if they left the next day.

He looked down at his knees and bit his lip. "I-I was always checking in, I like to see you. For a year, on and off, I guess. I didn't come here until a month ago." When things went downhill for him, everything had just intensified. "Last year, I barely did it. Just sometimes watched. Sometimes sent gifts. I just liked living nearby."

It wasn't quite as sexual until recently. "I tried to date... it didn't work. It was a distraction though. I stole less of your stuff, eh?" So that was good.

"That was nice. I'm almost out of underwear." Maybe he should do laundry more frequently, but who wanted to do that? Anyway, it might get easier now that the thief had been caught. Although it couldn't hurt to go buy some more soon. "I liked the gifts."

Explained a lot, the whole thing. Xue Yang ended up with some fried off dumplings on a plate, carrying them out to the sofa. He sat down next to Meng Yao and even used his chopsticks to hold one up to his lips so he could feed him. "You care about me, huh?"

That was weird. "No one ever does that."

Meng Yao took it into his mouth and ate it, even though it was very hot and burnt his tongue. Xue Yang was feeding him, he was too eager to care about burn wounds. He knew he should perhaps think rationally but what was rational thought going to get him? He would end up dead either way, it seemed likely, so why not try to bond? To actually get to know him.

"I do, yes. When you were sick, I was the one who 'mixed up' the delivery and sent the man to your home, with soup, on the house. Do you remember? It was chicken soup. It's good when you're sick." Meng Yao confessed, seeing no point in hiding it.

"I can buy you more underwear..."

"Yeah. I remember." It should have probably been creepy to him, but it wasn't really. They had established by now that Meng Yao was a creep, they had also established that Xue Yang was in charge of him. He felt no threat, instead he felt a strange kind of warmth. He ate one dumpling himself, then fed Meng Yao another one.

Wetting his lips, he followed an instinct and finally asked. "What's your name?"

"I'm Meng Yao. Unofficially. Officially, my name was changed to Jin Guangyao when my father legitimised me but I think of myself as Meng Yao." Meng Yao confessed, unsure how to feel about being a Jin. At first, it was everything he wanted but then, the constant rejection, the horrible family gatherings and the way his father and stepmother spoke to him - it had soured him so much. "Meng is my mother's name. She was very special to me, I find it hard to let go."

Meng Yao chew the dumpling once it was offered, swallowing it down eagerly. Fucking hell, these dumplings were amazing. Not really surprising, given where Xue Yang worked.

"I never had a mother. Or a father, for that matter." Xue Yang shrugged his shoulders and wondered whether he cared. He remembered caring, once. He remembered crying over his finger and feeling like the loneliest person in the world. Since then he had gotten used to being lonely. No one had ever taken care of him so he needed no one. Then Meng Yao had started to care.

Interesting. "I'll call you xiao Yao then." He had no idea how old Meng Yao was, but he was certainly little. Even if he ate dumplings so eagerly, he doubted he was about to gain much weight. He kept on feeding him, alternating with feeding himself. "How about I don't let you go?"

There was a thought. "Then we won't be alone. Because you like me, yeah?"

"Xiao Yao? But I'm ... I'm older than you. I am. I'm 28, almost 29. Meng Yao pointed out, aware of their age gap. He knew he was slight but he wasn't a child. Being called xiao Yao was embarrassing, it made his face heat up as much as it made his dick get semi hard. He hated that he was naked, he dropped his hands in his lap in an effort to hide his shame.

"Don't let me go? Like... you want to keep me?" That was better than dying, he supposed. He shivered from the cold and from the idea, not sure if it was good or bad. They were both lonely. And he had wanted to be close to him.

"Would I be allowed to leave and come back?"

"Whoa, you are that old?" That idea alone made Xue Yang chuckle. He looked at him, shaking his head. "Wow. What, should I be calling you Yao-ge, old man?"

He said it mockingly, clearly not feeling that respectful address was warranted here. Not from the guy who got hard and squirmy just from him calling him xiao Yao. He had noticed that, it had been fairly obvious.

The question made him raise his eyebrows. "Are you stupid? I told you that I kill people. I'm never letting you leave."

"But I have a job..." Probably not the point. Xue Yang wasn't going to let him leave here so he would just have to find a way to survive until he had a chance to leave and go to ... his brother? He wasn't sure. Who did he even go to? The police, sure, but he would also be in trouble. "I can stay here with you though. Maybe I'll sleep better. I don't sleep very well these days."

He squirmed where he was sitting, looking down at his purple and swollen ankle. It was so painful, he wanted to cry whenever he looked at it. "Can I see a doctor? My ankle hurts a lot."

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