"I got up, showered and got dressed. There were no issues on the way to work and I could make quite a bit of progress, so I felt a sense of achievement. My lunch was a simple rice bowl with some fresh seasonal vegetable, lightly seasoned with soy sauce. I admit that the latter half of my workday was less productive. I was looking forward to seeing you." He recounted it and finally inclined his head with a hint of a smile. "Yes, it has been a good day. Thank you for asking. How has your day been?"
Somewhere behind them, a waiter dropped some cutlery to the ground, groaned and cursed under his breath. Maybe he groaned first. Song Lan paid it no mind.
"That was quite the summary, yes." Xingchen smiled at him, endeared as much as he was frustrated. He wished Song Lan was more attached and in the world but everything was just a list to him. He hadn't kissed him today. And it was nagging at him in a weird, embarrassing way. Did he know? He must know. That was why he didn't touch, he felt everyone's sin. Felt Xingchen's for sure. "My day was okay, lots of work but I had a very good matcha latte today!"
He turned and then reached out, catching a teaspoon that had slid their way and then holding it towards the waiter. "Here you go, sir."
Honestly, Xue Yang had planned on staying unnoticed for longer. At this point though, if he had to listen to another story by either of these two, he was going to use that spoon Xiao Xingchen was handing him to disembowel someone and, seriously? Could even end in suicide out of sheer desperation. Were they trying to torture him by being boring? He couldn't even be jealous of this mess, he was the hero saving Xiao Xingchen from a life of utter and complete boredom of a magnitude he could not have imagined.
So he took the spoon and turned to face Xingchen fully, smiling wide enough to show fangs. "Thanks, sir." Didn't quite sound formal, but whatever. He gestured with his head toward the direction of the bathrooms and then he immediately started walking there, lest Song Lan started talking again.
His blood ran cold suddenly as he stared at that fang, watching the 'waiter' walk towards the bathroom. His whole body screamed at him to stay seated, to not go, it was danger. He was engaged. He just got engaged. He said he would never see him again. And yet, Song Lan was talking and he wasn't listening. His ears were ringing and his face was flushed.
"Oh dear." Xingchen interrupted. "My stomach is not happy. Please, excuse me, I will be swift." He got up quickly and walked towards the bathroom. He just had to tell Xue Yang no. It couldn't be that hard.
"Of course. Take care, my love." Song Lan watched Xingchen walk away with concern, noting how flushed his face had gotten all of a sudden. Perhaps it would be best if they went home soon.
Xue Yang stood in the bathroom, waiting confidently. He wore the waiter's uniform, his hair was tied back, and he let out a quiet laugh when Xingchen entered. Then, quite suddenly, he moved forward and pushed him against the wall, pinning him there while he met his lips in a hungry kiss. More spice there than in that entire relationship.
He could barely get words out as Xue Yang assaulted his lips and Xingchen prayed his boyfriend would not follow. He squeaked and pulled his face away from Xue Yang, using his hands to try and shove Xue Yang away but it was proving to be very difficult. "Stop it, no. I mean it this time, stop it!"
He managed to get enough space to step around Xue Yang and back himself up into the other corner of the bathroom, looking alarmed. "I came here to tell you to leave! I told you not to see me any more."
"...why would you come here for that?" Xue Yang laughed again, shaking his head in disbelief. "Do you hear yourself? Do you really think you're being truthful? If you didn't want to be alone with me, why would you have followed?"
Seemed like a rather obvious flaw in his logic. "Look, I see two options. One, you are into this." He felt that had merit. "Or, two, you were so damn bored by whatever this is out there that you needed to get away no matter what. You two lack chemistry so much, you should retake your high school exams."
"And you won't leave me alone! You're stalking me, you're everywhere. And then you act like I am out of line for asking you to stop and leave. You are cruel to me." Xingchen insisted, his voice a little desperate, edging on hysterical. He was so tired and hurt, he didn't know where to put any of his energy any more.
He wanted to love Song Lan and take care of him, to be happy with him, but his dreams were haunted by Chengmei, doing unspeakable things to him and calling him 'baby'. "I'm engaged. Please. Don't." Don't tempt him. Don't make him do it. They both knew he would and he just wanted to be better than that. Just once.
"Why did you post, Xingchen? Be honest with yourself while you lie to me." Xue Yang was merciless, stepping closer again and looking right into Xiao Xingchen's eyes, as much as he would allow him. "You could have posted the engagement. You could have posted pictures after, about your dinner. But no, you posted where you'd be. Why would you do that if you didn't want me to come?"
Did he truly not realise that? How far was he into denial? "You want me. Just say it. Admit it."
"I didn't, I swear. I didn't. I didn't do that. I'm not like that." Xingchen couldn't breathe properly because it just felt right. It seemed real. His breath hitched and he closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Xue Yang. He wanted him. Of course he wanted him. He was pathetic, he was a terrible person and he was not going to be happy until he ruined everything.
"I want to be good, please." He didn't even know what to do any more, he was trembling from terror and excitement. He just wanted someone to touch him. Touch him and love him, to make it all okay.
"Ah, baby. Don't you know I'm no good? All bad, good for nothing. I can't help you with that." But he had so much to teach him about being bad. Xue Yang turned around and walked over to one of the toilet stalls. He opened the door and stepped inside, leaving the door open for Xiao Xingchen to follow. He was certain he would. He knew when there was bad to be had, even if he was no good.
And he did follow. He didn't know why, he just moved into the stall and shut the door behind him, looking at Xue Yang and feeling such horrible dread because he was doing it again. And Xue Yang had won, revenge had been had. He was corrupted. So when would Xue Yang stop and leave him? Or was this all there was.
"I'm with Song Lan tonight. Why is this happening?" He didn't know who he was even asking.
"Because you like me better than him," Xue Yang said and, tilting his head to the side, he smiled in a sweet way, "I'm cute. He is not cute. You like cute."
It all made sense, didn't it? He closed the distance between them, putting his hands on Xingchen's shoulder and leaning close to him, pressing his mouth against his neck and breathing the word against his skin. "You like me~!"
Xingchen had no idea if that was true or not. He did like him, sometimes, in moments when he held him or spoke to him sweetly. He liked his hair and his smile, he liked how he touched him so liberally. But he always hurt him. He wanted to rip him apart and he was getting pretty damn close.
"I shouldn't be in here. I shouldn't do this." He panicked and shoved Xue Yang away, going for the door handle. "I can't do this!"
Panic seized Xue Yang's heart as well, even though he was much less aware of the emotion. All he knew was that the thought of Xingchen leaving like this made it impossible to breathe. So he grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back, shoved him right against the stall. He wasted no time now, he undid Xingchen's trousers, his hand inside them as quickly as he could. His dick was hard and waiting for him, so how wrong could this be? How wrong could he be? He looked at his face as he jerked him off, unaware of the tears he was blinking away.
"No, please, stop it!" He reached for the stall door but he couldn't get to it, Xue Yang was stronger than him. There was a hand around his dick, jerking him off, and he sobbed loudly as the other kept jacking him off. It was too much, it was all too much. He whimpered as Xue Yang kept going, every stroke so determined.
He looked at Xue Yang and shook his head, looking at the tears in in the other's eyes. Did he know? What even caused them? "We're bad. We're going to hell!"
"Yeah, so? At least we are going together then, baby. At least you are not getting rid of me." It was all he could do, wasn't it? To ensure his place with Xiao Xingchen. All he could ask for was to be despised by him. "Say my name. Come on, tell me what you think of me."
How he hated him, how he wished he was in hell already. He knew it all.
He was getting closer and closer but once he called him baby, it was like something struck though him. He started to shake and he cried out as he came in this public bathroom, on a date with his boyfriend, who just asked him to marry him. And he said yes. And he had to go out there and looked at Song Lan.
He hurt him and he was hurting Xue Yang too. The other had wet eyes and demon or not, he was suffering. They all were.
Xingchen couldn't answer, he just kept crying. He raised a hand, wiping at his face. "Xue Yang. Why?"
"Hate me," Xue Yang demanded, because he had no idea what else to ask for. He needed that intensity, he needed to be burned by this. Maybe then whatever hurt him would go up in flames, maybe he would be able to breathe again. He pulled his hand out and wiped it clean on his shirt. Not as if he planned on keeping that stupid outfit.
Then he leaned forward and kissed Xiao Xingchen again. He had never kissed softly before. This was a first.
The kiss was soft, tender, and he hadn't ever been kissed like this before. Song Lan didn't like kissing and when he did it, it was straight to the point. No romance. No passion. When the kiss was over, Xingchen lower his head and hid himself in Xue Yang's shoulder. He liked how he smelled. How he touched him. He liked Xue Yang.
And that was how Xue Yang had won, he supposed. He made him completely pathetic and endlessly craving him. "Please help me."
Xue Yang wasn't sure what was happening. He had his arms around Xiao Xingchen, he had him lean against him, and he had no way of making himself let go of him. He wanted to be near him forever. How could he help him? He couldn't help himself against whatever there was inside of him. "...I'm all bad. I can never help."
"I'm sorry I hurt you." Xingchen whispered as he just stayed against Xue Yang and let him hold him. He had no idea how long they stayed like this but he knew time was passing, he knew Song Lan would ask questions and he didn't think he could do that. He pulled away from Xue Yang and rubbed his eye.
"I have to go. Please don't tell Song Lan what I did." Reaching out, he grabbed the stall handle and took off in a run. He couldn't let himself be caught, he just had to go. Before he hurt anyone else.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thesuspense) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
toxicbaes2025-04-10 09:08 pm
no subject
Somewhere behind them, a waiter dropped some cutlery to the ground, groaned and cursed under his breath. Maybe he groaned first. Song Lan paid it no mind.
no subject
He turned and then reached out, catching a teaspoon that had slid their way and then holding it towards the waiter. "Here you go, sir."
no subject
So he took the spoon and turned to face Xingchen fully, smiling wide enough to show fangs. "Thanks, sir." Didn't quite sound formal, but whatever. He gestured with his head toward the direction of the bathrooms and then he immediately started walking there, lest Song Lan started talking again.
no subject
"Oh dear." Xingchen interrupted. "My stomach is not happy. Please, excuse me, I will be swift." He got up quickly and walked towards the bathroom. He just had to tell Xue Yang no. It couldn't be that hard.
no subject
Xue Yang stood in the bathroom, waiting confidently. He wore the waiter's uniform, his hair was tied back, and he let out a quiet laugh when Xingchen entered. Then, quite suddenly, he moved forward and pushed him against the wall, pinning him there while he met his lips in a hungry kiss. More spice there than in that entire relationship.
no subject
He managed to get enough space to step around Xue Yang and back himself up into the other corner of the bathroom, looking alarmed. "I came here to tell you to leave! I told you not to see me any more."
no subject
Seemed like a rather obvious flaw in his logic. "Look, I see two options. One, you are into this." He felt that had merit. "Or, two, you were so damn bored by whatever this is out there that you needed to get away no matter what. You two lack chemistry so much, you should retake your high school exams."
no subject
He wanted to love Song Lan and take care of him, to be happy with him, but his dreams were haunted by Chengmei, doing unspeakable things to him and calling him 'baby'. "I'm engaged. Please. Don't." Don't tempt him. Don't make him do it. They both knew he would and he just wanted to be better than that. Just once.
no subject
Did he truly not realise that? How far was he into denial? "You want me. Just say it. Admit it."
no subject
"I want to be good, please." He didn't even know what to do any more, he was trembling from terror and excitement. He just wanted someone to touch him. Touch him and love him, to make it all okay.
no subject
no subject
"I'm with Song Lan tonight. Why is this happening?" He didn't know who he was even asking.
no subject
It all made sense, didn't it? He closed the distance between them, putting his hands on Xingchen's shoulder and leaning close to him, pressing his mouth against his neck and breathing the word against his skin. "You like me~!"
no subject
"I shouldn't be in here. I shouldn't do this." He panicked and shoved Xue Yang away, going for the door handle. "I can't do this!"
no subject
"You want me," he insisted, "I'm in your head."
no subject
He looked at Xue Yang and shook his head, looking at the tears in in the other's eyes. Did he know? What even caused them? "We're bad. We're going to hell!"
no subject
How he hated him, how he wished he was in hell already. He knew it all.
no subject
He hurt him and he was hurting Xue Yang too. The other had wet eyes and demon or not, he was suffering. They all were.
Xingchen couldn't answer, he just kept crying. He raised a hand, wiping at his face. "Xue Yang. Why?"
no subject
Then he leaned forward and kissed Xiao Xingchen again. He had never kissed softly before. This was a first.
no subject
And that was how Xue Yang had won, he supposed. He made him completely pathetic and endlessly craving him. "Please help me."
no subject
no subject
"I have to go. Please don't tell Song Lan what I did." Reaching out, he grabbed the stall handle and took off in a run. He couldn't let himself be caught, he just had to go. Before he hurt anyone else.