If his dad could see him now, he would have beaten 7 shades of shit out of him. He felt his fingers around Edward's neck and wondered if he could ever do something like that. He had the urge, once or twice, to choke out people who wronged him. To stab them, to fight them, to set them on fire. The urge would always be there but was it worth? No. Could he ever look his Holden or Axel in the eye? Not a chance.
His fingers slid from Edward's neck to his shoulder and he held onto them for a moment as he let Edward touch him. "I don't think our sort get the option to not live. Not if we actually want something."
To live was to be extreme, even without any desire to be. "Do you have a condom?"
"Always, love. I'm prepared." There wasn't really any need, he reckoned, to act as if this was something he'd never done before or even something he did rarely. Clearly Jonathan was a cynic, not even believing him when he called him handsome. Certainly not looking for romance, that one. Not even for the illusion of one.
Perhaps that was what spurred him on. He looked deep into Jonathan's eyes of the bluest blue he'd ever seen and then he reached up with one hand to cup the back of his neck and pull him into a kiss. He was a good kisser, he knew that, but he wasn't concerned about technique then. He had few thoughts at all, just that feeling that it was nice to kiss and to believe that this could be more than it was. He didn't want to be cynical. He liked believing in romance.
Jonathan had never kissed really, not properly. He'd kissed a once girl, when he was a boy, after a lot of pressure from his dad to do it, and he hadn't enjoyed it at all. At least it put his dad's mind to rest that he was a fairy. For a short while. With the only guy he had ever been with, it wasn't romantic. It wasn't about kissing. It was about sucking dick and even then, they got halfway into it before they had to run their separate ways.
And that boy straight up took off before Jonathan could get back to his feet. There was no romance in their world, no love for each other. It was every man for themselves and every piece of pleasure to be taken.
So kissing was a strange one. He hadn't expected Edward to kiss him. And he was good too. If this was what kissing was supposed to be, Jonathan definitely liked it more. He kissed back, wondering if this was some sort of foreplay to Edward. It was cute, at least. Jon pulled back and then looked at Edward, trying to repel any attempts at deep emotions.
"Don't get carried away, come on. We ain't falling in love here, we're fucking."
"Never say never, love." Edward looked at him, shaking his head. "Same logic applies. If you're not giving it your all, then why bother?" That said he leaned in to kiss the side of Jon's neck, lingering for just a moment. "I can feel your heart beating."
He whispered it near his ear and then he got down to his knees, already getting a condom pack out of his pocket. He opened it with his teeth while looking up at Jonathan, wanting to memorise how he looked like this. Then his eyes went lower down, as he quickly opened Jonathan's pants, the condom pack still between his teeth to leave his hand free. His eyes went up at Jonathan's size and he had to laugh, almost dropping the condom.
"Hello there... No wonder you're so confident." Explained a lot, he thought.
Bingo. He knew it. Alfie told him girls were all about the size of the dick but Jon thought that was bullshit. Now men - they were obsessed. With their dick, the size of their dick and the size of other people's dicks. Hence gay men had to go wild for that shit. And here he was, looking at Edward and damn, he had to smirk. "You like it?"
Sure, his heart was racing and around Edward, in some ways, he felt a bit of a fool but he still had a thing or two to help him keep an advantage.
"If it's too much for you, just say. I don't wanna choke you. Much." It was fun, he couldn't deny it.
"Thought I'd made it clear that I want to be choked by you, love." Edward felt his enthusiasm should have made that much clear. He kept his eyes on Jonathan while he had one hand around his dick already, enjoying the feel of it. He felt he had been training for this for a while now. At least ever since the first dick he'd sucked.
So he put the condom against his lips with something that belied practice and then he leaned forward, using his lips to roll it over the head and along the shaft, already getting started even as he got the condom on.
Honestly, he knew it didn't take much to suck a dick. Men were easy. However, Edward loved excelling at things. And so he had learned quite a few tricks by now, all of which he gladly employed with Jonathan. Including taking him in deep enough to almost choke on him. That would mark the first time he didn't have to fake that effect simply to flatter someone's ego. Jonathan really was that big.
Edward was good. Really good. The way his mouth felt, the way he sucked and the fact that he was willing to try and get him that deep. He felt Edward's fucking throat spasm around his dick and could hear him breathe thought his nose, slightly laboured but eager. The noises, the feeling, the sensation - it was incredible.
Jonathan lasted longer than he had expected himself to last. He had his fingers in Edward's hair, buried deep, when he shot his load. Thank God for the condom, he was worried he would have choked him.
When Edward pulled back, Jonathan looked down at him. He had no idea what to say. "Fucking hell."
"That's where I want to drag you," Edward agreed, leaning back so he could look at him better, a wide grin on his face. Nothing quite like this, was there? He'd no idea why anyone saw it as degrading, always seemed like a power trip to him. That was how he wanted Jon to look at him, as if no one else could have ever brought him more pleasure.
"You should see me when we really fuck." He was just saying. Far from over there.
"Good thing you got that room of yours cause I don't have a room. I don't even have my own bed." Jonathan huffed out a small laugh as took the condom off and tied it up, tossing it off into the woods and hoping it disappeared in the thicket. He held a hand out and waited for Edward to take it, helping him off the ground.
He was a gentlemen, after all. "I'm not much of a date, I won't lie to you. I'm broke and I can't give you shit but I got a bottle of whiskey that ain't bad." Jonathan explained as he nodded his head off towards where the caravan was. "I can grab it and we can find a private spot, if you fancy?"
"Fanciest date I've ever been on, Jon. Always underselling yourself." When, really, he could have just-- Edward paused, deciding to simply say it out loud. "I love your humble gentleman act, love, but just so you know. You could have dropped trousers first time we meet and I'd have been on my knees after one look at that cock."
Seemed worth stating. He moved close and kissed Jonathan again, simply because he wanted to, then he gave a nod. "Show me deeper into the woods, Jonny. I'm still all yours."
"I suppose I think it's rude. My dad always taught me to treat a girl with respect, don't see why I can't do the same for a boy." Jonathan let Edward kiss him one more time before he pulled away and nodded towards the other end of the woods. "It's not an easy walk but I'll help you get through it."
Jonathan didn't undersell the walk either. It was downhill, through a small river with a very shitty little plank of wood and finally, up a muddy hill. And Jonathan spend that hill holding Edward up so he didn't fall down the hill and get covered in mud.
He did laugh though, cause it was fucking funny. "I'm sorry, city boy. I'm taking the piss, aren't I? Next time, we'll take the horse. She can do it in seconds."
He'd said something about a next time. He wanted to see him again. Sure, Edward was getting rather pissed off with the damn walk. Not easy, right. He wanted to shove Jonathan into the mud for making him do all that. However, Jonathan had said next time. That was definitely the best date he'd ever been on, at least with a bloke.
"Fuck off. You should be so lucky." He laughed, shaking his head. "Maybe. Only because I like your horse."
Bit unsure on the knobhead that had subjected him to this walk, honestly. "All of your folk live out here? Damn. What a shit walk." He hoped they didn't have to get into the city often.
"Yeah, well, we ain't allowed to park near the city or we get dragged out. Literally. All places are private these days so we gotta find somewhere. We're near a posh people's hunting reserve so we'll probably be moved sooner or later but for now, this is it. We got a water pipe 60 meters from our home, we got public toilets about 150 away." Jonathan explained, not seeming as bothered by the walk as Edward was. Of course he wasn't, he did it every day if he went to the city centre.
Once they were up the hill, Jonathan took Edward's hand and pulled him to the top, pausing so the other could get his breathe.
"My Holden and Axel, they walk to school every day. Ain't no bus here and the local school won't take 'em cause they're gyppos. They refused us. So they gotta walk an hour into the city. They do this route, every day and night. And in winter, it's fucking dark, lemme tell you." Jonathan hated it too but what was he supposed to do? To settle was an insult to his family and the world was just against them travelling. All he could do was try to survive it all.
"Shame." Really not much else he could say to that, especially not because Jon was holding his hand and that kind of just made his heart flutter in a way that was even more intense than the walk had been. He caught his breath slowly, smiling at Jonathan while his heart was beating too fast. "At least it makes for good songs, that rough life."
So there was that. "Who're Holden and Axel then?" He was curious. Did Jon already have children? Surely not. Especially not school aged ones. He knew travellers started early, but Jon couldn't be much older than him. "Your brothers?" He assumed. Stood to reason.
"My brothers, yeah. Younger brothers. I got a whole mess of siblings. I had a younger sister but she turned 16 and when that happens, they leave you. You gotta get married at 16. That's the way." And yet, Jonathan had avoided it. His refusal mixed with his absent father and new duties made it easy for him to keep avoiding the topic but he knew that Alfie wouldn't let it be ignored for long. "You're supposed to. He and the eldest, we're breaking tradition. He's a manslut and I'm a queer."
Jonathan laughed and grinned at Edward, pulling him along by his hand before letting go. The two of them kept walking but now the ground seemed mostly even and a bit less damp. "I guess our generation really is ruining society."
"I don't know, love. Sounds to me like your big brother and you are making excellent choices." But then, he would think that. Edward grinned, hands back in his pocket to resist the temptation. He wanted to be all over Jonathan, but he knew that was unlikely to be an option now they got closer to his place. Wasn't really an option for them anyway and wasn't that a shame? "I'm glad you ain't about to introduce me to your wife."
That could have been a bit awkward. "My old man always thought I'm going to drag down whatever I'm near, so why not go after society? Fuck morals. I want to fuck you."
"I ain't got morals, I ain't fitting nowhere and I do what I fancy. I just keep it all to myself." Jonathan didn't want to make waves, he didn't want to be that faggot and get ousted from his family. He loves his brothers and he would do whatever he had to for them. Even if it meant keeping it all in.
As they got closer to the park, he could hear the kids yelling and shouting, playing together, and he could see the smoke coming from the fire. "If anyone asks who you are, you're just a mate. We're in business." Otherwise they'd all get funny with him for bringing an outsider in. "You may have to look at my horse while I get the whiskey. Just look interested in buying her."
Edward looked down himself and adjusted a strap of his guitar case, lifting his eyebrows a little. He knew he didn't look as if he could afford a horse. He also doubted as if he overly looked like he'd been near any horse very often. Still, he got the importance of keeping whatever cover Jon picked and he assumed Jon knew better. "Whatever you say, Jonny."
It wasn't as if he'd planned on introducing himself as a queer. He didn't fancy getting beat up either. "Can't wait to get myself a horsey. Clip-clop." How did one look interested in buying a horse? "Is there anything about looking in their mouths?" He just wanted to know.
"Okay, you know what? No. Don't go near my horse. Actually, expect a talk when we got the whiskey about how a horse works." Jonathan insisted, unsure why he thought a city boy could pretend to understand horses. He rolled his eyes and shoved Edward out of the trees, coming out behind him. "The brown caravan is mine. Come on, just stick with me."
As they came along, he stepped passed the kids playing footie and then caught sight of Axel. Ah, the first brother had noticed. Shit. One down, three to go. "Jonny!"
"Sod off, Ax. Keep playing." Jonathan kept moving towards the caravan, not being suspicious but not wanting to stop and chat.
"Hello, Axel!" Edward waved, in good spirits, following the script. More or less. "I'm Jonny's mate." Wasn't he lucky? And that little boy was adorable. He could see the family resemblance, dark shock of hair and all that, only the boy was still tiny, which made it adorable rather than striking. "I'm Ed. Eddie. Edward."
So many names.
Still, he kept on walking, even as he introduced himself to the boy. Headed for the brown caravan. "Yours is the biggest here too, eh?" He noticed.
Of course, entertaining Axel was like opening pandoras box and Jonathan knew exactly what was coming because suddenly Axel was barrelling down the caravan park to get a better look at Edward, eyes wide with awe.
"Hello! I'm Axel. You play the guitar?" That was so cool. He studied Edward in much the same way Jon did - clearly he had learned from his big brother.
"Seriously, Ax. Sod off." Jonathan said as he rolled his eyes at Edward's dick joke and opened the caravan door, heading inside to grab some booze and not bothering to check who was in here. The less he engaged, the better.
"Did you come to smoke and drink? I tried drinking, it was so gross." Axel wisely informed Edward as the other children slowly started to gather around too. Well, he was new. They didn't often have new. "Do you wanna see my Barbies?"
"You got Barbies? Hell yeah, I wanna see them. You got nice clothes for them too?" Edward crouched down to be closer to level with Axel - and the other kids that were staring at him - and he smiled at them all, clearly not minding the attention. "I do play the guitar. That's how me and Jonny met."
Holden had been in a corner, writing something, but the commotion was making him get up. He nodded at Jonathan, but looked out the door more curiously. "Why's Axel talking to a stranger?" That was odd. Why would Jon permit that?
"Not really but I got a few different ones. Jonathan allows it. It's not girly cause they're mine and I'm a boy." Axel just clarified he was allowed as others had expressed dislike and hate towards him having them so he just wanted Edward to know it was totally cool with Jonny. "Did you know that Jonny plays the fiddle?"
Jonathan looked at Holden and then looked out of the caravan door with a sigh. "He's not a stranger. He's a guy who-- we're working on a business deal." Jon lied as he snapped his fingers at Ed. "Oi, you're not here to play Barbies."
"Shame. I'm real good at playing Barbies." Edward impulsively picked Axel up and carried him into the caravan, because if Jon felt he could snap his fingers at him, Edward was going to intrude on his personal space. Seemed fair to him. "I didn't have any Barbies when I was your age, but I made some clothes for my friend's Barbies. She loved them."
Holden looked at the man who definitely seemed like a stranger. He seemed strange, if nothing else. Not like anyone Jon had ever done business with before. "Axel, don't bother the man."
"He ain't no bother," Ed assured the worried looking bore that had to be Holden. He set Axel down and ruffled his hair. "He plays the fiddle beautifully, your Jonny."
Axel was having a good time. He was playing with someone new, he got lifted up and now he got to show off his Barbies. Could the day be better?
Jon, on the other hand, not so thrilled. It was his fault, he invited chaos into his life and here it was. Chaos incarnate. Jonathan huffed and came back into the caravan. If he was sticking around, he may as well get a new packet of cigarettes and a lighter. "I played fiddle with him earlier, he's a good musician. He's above board." Jon turned to Holden and frowned. "Alfie about?" He hoped not, he'd freak.
And then there was Axel, who was hands down the least bothered. He was opening a cupboard and getting his dolls, rushing over to show Edward. "My dad didn't let me either but Jonny allows it. He said it doesn't make you queer." Axel assured the man as he held up summer fun Barbie. "This one was for my birthday this year."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
His fingers slid from Edward's neck to his shoulder and he held onto them for a moment as he let Edward touch him. "I don't think our sort get the option to not live. Not if we actually want something."
To live was to be extreme, even without any desire to be. "Do you have a condom?"
no subject
Perhaps that was what spurred him on. He looked deep into Jonathan's eyes of the bluest blue he'd ever seen and then he reached up with one hand to cup the back of his neck and pull him into a kiss. He was a good kisser, he knew that, but he wasn't concerned about technique then. He had few thoughts at all, just that feeling that it was nice to kiss and to believe that this could be more than it was. He didn't want to be cynical. He liked believing in romance.
no subject
And that boy straight up took off before Jonathan could get back to his feet. There was no romance in their world, no love for each other. It was every man for themselves and every piece of pleasure to be taken.
So kissing was a strange one. He hadn't expected Edward to kiss him. And he was good too. If this was what kissing was supposed to be, Jonathan definitely liked it more. He kissed back, wondering if this was some sort of foreplay to Edward. It was cute, at least. Jon pulled back and then looked at Edward, trying to repel any attempts at deep emotions.
"Don't get carried away, come on. We ain't falling in love here, we're fucking."
no subject
He whispered it near his ear and then he got down to his knees, already getting a condom pack out of his pocket. He opened it with his teeth while looking up at Jonathan, wanting to memorise how he looked like this. Then his eyes went lower down, as he quickly opened Jonathan's pants, the condom pack still between his teeth to leave his hand free. His eyes went up at Jonathan's size and he had to laugh, almost dropping the condom.
"Hello there... No wonder you're so confident." Explained a lot, he thought.
no subject
Sure, his heart was racing and around Edward, in some ways, he felt a bit of a fool but he still had a thing or two to help him keep an advantage.
"If it's too much for you, just say. I don't wanna choke you. Much." It was fun, he couldn't deny it.
no subject
So he put the condom against his lips with something that belied practice and then he leaned forward, using his lips to roll it over the head and along the shaft, already getting started even as he got the condom on.
Honestly, he knew it didn't take much to suck a dick. Men were easy. However, Edward loved excelling at things. And so he had learned quite a few tricks by now, all of which he gladly employed with Jonathan. Including taking him in deep enough to almost choke on him. That would mark the first time he didn't have to fake that effect simply to flatter someone's ego. Jonathan really was that big.
no subject
Jonathan lasted longer than he had expected himself to last. He had his fingers in Edward's hair, buried deep, when he shot his load. Thank God for the condom, he was worried he would have choked him.
When Edward pulled back, Jonathan looked down at him. He had no idea what to say. "Fucking hell."
no subject
"You should see me when we really fuck." He was just saying. Far from over there.
no subject
He was a gentlemen, after all. "I'm not much of a date, I won't lie to you. I'm broke and I can't give you shit but I got a bottle of whiskey that ain't bad." Jonathan explained as he nodded his head off towards where the caravan was. "I can grab it and we can find a private spot, if you fancy?"
no subject
Seemed worth stating. He moved close and kissed Jonathan again, simply because he wanted to, then he gave a nod. "Show me deeper into the woods, Jonny. I'm still all yours."
no subject
Jonathan didn't undersell the walk either. It was downhill, through a small river with a very shitty little plank of wood and finally, up a muddy hill. And Jonathan spend that hill holding Edward up so he didn't fall down the hill and get covered in mud.
He did laugh though, cause it was fucking funny. "I'm sorry, city boy. I'm taking the piss, aren't I? Next time, we'll take the horse. She can do it in seconds."
no subject
"Fuck off. You should be so lucky." He laughed, shaking his head. "Maybe. Only because I like your horse."
Bit unsure on the knobhead that had subjected him to this walk, honestly. "All of your folk live out here? Damn. What a shit walk." He hoped they didn't have to get into the city often.
no subject
Once they were up the hill, Jonathan took Edward's hand and pulled him to the top, pausing so the other could get his breathe.
"My Holden and Axel, they walk to school every day. Ain't no bus here and the local school won't take 'em cause they're gyppos. They refused us. So they gotta walk an hour into the city. They do this route, every day and night. And in winter, it's fucking dark, lemme tell you." Jonathan hated it too but what was he supposed to do? To settle was an insult to his family and the world was just against them travelling. All he could do was try to survive it all.
no subject
So there was that. "Who're Holden and Axel then?" He was curious. Did Jon already have children? Surely not. Especially not school aged ones. He knew travellers started early, but Jon couldn't be much older than him. "Your brothers?" He assumed. Stood to reason.
no subject
Jonathan laughed and grinned at Edward, pulling him along by his hand before letting go. The two of them kept walking but now the ground seemed mostly even and a bit less damp. "I guess our generation really is ruining society."
no subject
That could have been a bit awkward. "My old man always thought I'm going to drag down whatever I'm near, so why not go after society? Fuck morals. I want to fuck you."
no subject
As they got closer to the park, he could hear the kids yelling and shouting, playing together, and he could see the smoke coming from the fire. "If anyone asks who you are, you're just a mate. We're in business." Otherwise they'd all get funny with him for bringing an outsider in. "You may have to look at my horse while I get the whiskey. Just look interested in buying her."
no subject
It wasn't as if he'd planned on introducing himself as a queer. He didn't fancy getting beat up either. "Can't wait to get myself a horsey. Clip-clop." How did one look interested in buying a horse? "Is there anything about looking in their mouths?" He just wanted to know.
no subject
As they came along, he stepped passed the kids playing footie and then caught sight of Axel. Ah, the first brother had noticed. Shit. One down, three to go. "Jonny!"
"Sod off, Ax. Keep playing." Jonathan kept moving towards the caravan, not being suspicious but not wanting to stop and chat.
no subject
So many names.
Still, he kept on walking, even as he introduced himself to the boy. Headed for the brown caravan. "Yours is the biggest here too, eh?" He noticed.
no subject
"Hello! I'm Axel. You play the guitar?" That was so cool. He studied Edward in much the same way Jon did - clearly he had learned from his big brother.
"Seriously, Ax. Sod off." Jonathan said as he rolled his eyes at Edward's dick joke and opened the caravan door, heading inside to grab some booze and not bothering to check who was in here. The less he engaged, the better.
"Did you come to smoke and drink? I tried drinking, it was so gross." Axel wisely informed Edward as the other children slowly started to gather around too. Well, he was new. They didn't often have new. "Do you wanna see my Barbies?"
no subject
Holden had been in a corner, writing something, but the commotion was making him get up. He nodded at Jonathan, but looked out the door more curiously. "Why's Axel talking to a stranger?" That was odd. Why would Jon permit that?
no subject
Jonathan looked at Holden and then looked out of the caravan door with a sigh. "He's not a stranger. He's a guy who-- we're working on a business deal." Jon lied as he snapped his fingers at Ed. "Oi, you're not here to play Barbies."
no subject
Holden looked at the man who definitely seemed like a stranger. He seemed strange, if nothing else. Not like anyone Jon had ever done business with before. "Axel, don't bother the man."
"He ain't no bother," Ed assured the worried looking bore that had to be Holden. He set Axel down and ruffled his hair. "He plays the fiddle beautifully, your Jonny."
no subject
Jon, on the other hand, not so thrilled. It was his fault, he invited chaos into his life and here it was. Chaos incarnate. Jonathan huffed and came back into the caravan. If he was sticking around, he may as well get a new packet of cigarettes and a lighter. "I played fiddle with him earlier, he's a good musician. He's above board." Jon turned to Holden and frowned. "Alfie about?" He hoped not, he'd freak.
And then there was Axel, who was hands down the least bothered. He was opening a cupboard and getting his dolls, rushing over to show Edward. "My dad didn't let me either but Jonny allows it. He said it doesn't make you queer." Axel assured the man as he held up summer fun Barbie. "This one was for my birthday this year."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)