"I think I probably am to him, I just don't understand what it means to be special to Xue Yang." He watched him feel up the twink on the face floor and wondered if it was special that he took him here for this. Or maybe all that made him special was that he had let him live as long as he did. He saw him almost as a pet. But people did love their pets.

Xinjia turned away and waved happily over at Jonathan, bouncing up and down to the beat, generally being adorable. "You're boyfriend is cute."

He really was. "You're lucky. To be loved. I don't know what that feels like. I want to find it some day." Maybe he could find it with Xue Yang.