"Ah, no, seriously?" Nathan had the knife in his hand and tried to think what was the fastest way to do this. So he aimed for his heart, gurgling blood as his legs gave out and he slid down onto the floor, feeling the absolute agony of the blade in him. He was hoping that would be a bit faster. "Shit. Missed."

He pulled the knife out and then stabbed himself again. He wanted to do it another time but it hurt too much. He gagged on blood and cried out in pain, jamming his eyes closed. "It hurts... bastard!" And it wasn't as fast as he wanted it to be. He wasn't dead but the command to kill himself was still there.

So he yanked the knife out and slit his own throat.