"There's wine downstairs and you didn't think to lead with that? Woah. It's like you don't know me." Klaus used his years of wriggling and writhing around to slip out from under Barty almost bonelessly, sliding onto the floor with a small snort of amusement. "There's wine down there. Oh, it's Christmas. I'm too sober."

He let himself fall forward, face pressed to the floor as if he could hear the wine calling to him. Face down, ass up - looking an idiot as always.

"Can you return the gift if you don't like it? I never got a receipt. Did you?"