"Will I?" Klaus giggled as he reached out, stroking his stubbled chin and wondering if this was what Barty would look like as a big boy. He supposed so. After all, he had stubble and all now. He supposed being scraggy was a man thing. He hmmed idly as he moved his hand away, leaving trails behind him.

"You're not Barty. He told me to fuck off. And I fucked off. And he wouldn't be here. Trust me, I know these things." Good things like friends and love happened to normal, nice people. Not to wankers like him.